it me

2007-10-29T08:23:00.000-07:00

am back....recently had been working and working.am changing job soon.but dnt have the courage to go for interview.so still struggling.hope to get into sp next year.science course.
erm,i had deleted my msn account due to some reason.my bro go into my msn account and anyhow talk to my friends.so i deleted my password and when i want to log in,i realised that i had forgotten my password.this is because everytime i put my password as remember me.so everytime all i have to do is just press sign in.that made it why my bro can access into my msn account that easy.=0

life is just like that.everyday pass by so fast.one more month and there comes the 2008.a new year.and then chinese new year.and there come my extra income.angbao.haha.
am waiting for christmas to come so that i can have my extra income from my uncle.because every christmas my uncle will give us ( children) money for christmas as a gift.and the gift is big.in terms of the amount of money given.haha.will not reveal the amount.haha.every year is fixed.but all i can say is high in vaule.haha.=0

=) + =(

2007-10-08T21:16:00.000-07:00

today,i went down to rp to sign out of rp.and yes,i am now officially out of rp.
the feelings is happy and relief.but at the same time worried.worried about my future.
but i know that i will never regret my decision.
because this decision i had think and made for a long time.
the road is i choose,the life is i want.the life is mine.no matter what people said,i know this is what i want. i know whatever i do i must tell myself,i cannot regre.so whatever decision i made i will think for a long time or can also said is wishy washy.or like to heed other advice.but most likely will still insist on my decision.
till now,no one even my parents can change my decision after i had made.i hope one day,there will be one who can change my decision or change my attitude towards things and life.
today,is the day i am very proud of myself.cos i am finally very independent that i can settle my own things myself without company of my friends or parents.+)

random......

2007-10-08T07:45:00.000-07:00

recently, had been working almost everyday due to my friend chicken pox. and the following week,which is next week,will be working everyday.but after next week will be back to my normal working schedule le.cos my friend is coming back.cannot said my friend is who cos i think is better to keep it a sercret.if not my friend wnt like it de.which means my pay will be more at the end of this month.but more also wnt exceed $500 de.cos the pay is low. but what matter is i like the job.nope should be i like the people in the job.cos if not for the people,i think i would have quit long ago.cos working with them is happy.

happy happy.

2007-10-07T19:54:00.000-07:00

yeah,finally going to be officially out of rp.after draging for three weeks of no school since the start of semester 2.tomorrow am going to find the programme chair for the signature in order to sign out of rp.at her class w6.dnt know what will happen.happen when i knock on the door and push open the door scene.and what will she ask or questions me.
but whatever it is after tml,i am free.free of worry.but still have one problem my ezlink card.
and and this is the first time,i settle my own things myself.
in the past,normally there is someone with me or someone to help me with my things.but now,i have to do it.cos my parents said i am growing up.but i dnt wish to.
but since the road and life belong to me and is decided by me.no matter what,i have to do it my myself.cos is my life and the way i want.
in future,no matter is success or failure.it is also me.cos this is what i want and choose.

..............

2007-10-03T07:17:00.000-07:00

till now,i still dnt know if i had made the right decision in quitting rp and joining next year sp if can. hope can. i need another chance. this time round i hope i can make good use of the chance given to me.
i really feel that if you are not an independent person,i think rp does not suit you. it is very boring to be in rp.i want to learn something.not just pass my life.
that is why i choose to quit rp.
i had wasted one year of my life.perhaps is half a year.cos half a year spent in rp.
wasted money and time.
hope everything can be smooth for the future ahead of me. =)

finally made up my mind!!!! =)

2007-09-24T07:23:00.000-07:00

finally it is over.even though it had not been officially declared that i can break free from republic.but i had not been attending school for a week and is on the way to do all the needed documents and stuff to break free from republic.
i know some may think that it is not a wise choice and is a waste of time and money.
but i had really think through and that i think i really cannot.
in the first place i tot is the relations of people.but it is actually not this way.it is the life of rp that i cannot adapt to.i had try myself to adapt to it no matter what.dnt think of anything.just go and pass each day.but what i want is not like that.i want to learn somethings and i want to do it to the best.and not just pass everyday just like that.
said so much now also no use.since i had decide,i am ready to take any critisim perhaps from relatives or from friends.but i know my friends wnt.cos they are my friends.i believe my friends.
just like they believe me.
thanks for all that encourage me for my decision.=)
my plan for now is to work.maybe find another job to work mean i have two jobs.but is hard to find so i now just stay on in the bubble tea job.
waiting for next year to come and hope to get into sp.now i dnt care what course it is.as long as there is teaching and i can learn somethings even the basic can le.

dilemma????what should i do???

2007-09-20T08:34:00.000-07:00

hello!!!! is anyone there?.....i am at the end of the road?? i think is not.i should said at a dillema.
what should i do???what can i do??what must i do??? people can only advise.but i does not care to listen to their advice.i dnt know....i am really not in the mood recently if not for this entire year.new life...new environment,new people.new me???
i had begin to become useless,helpless and not me anymore.i dnt know what happen and why.
who can i listen to???who can i trust??? retribution???what!!!
i want to quit rp.yes,i know this is what i want.at the same time i dnt want to waste money.
but my parents they haven help me make the withdrawal from rp.they agreed.but dnt know what they are thinking.all i want is to quit rp and carry my life.wasting my life.wasting my time.wasting my youth.wasting to become useless and helpless everyday.
i dnt know what i want.i had lost hope in everything.my self-esteem.the usual me.yes,the usual me.friends???
dnt know who to turn to.family???
i dnt know.hate life.hate myself.hate the world.living in the world of hatred???can i do that.no i cannot,because i care.i care.i care how people see me,how people feel about me,how people said about me,how people want me to be me.what i want.i dnt know.
in front of people,i have to be happy.at the back of people,i am not.=(

movie times.=)

2007-08-29T20:40:00.000-07:00

-Finally went to watch bu neng shuo de mimi yesterday(last show)before it is put out from all the movie threatre!=)

-Watched it first time in vivo with ivian.jurong point golden village does not have the movie anymore.when comes to watch movies i prefer watching it in golden village.dnt know why.the toilet in the vivo golden village was small and quiet.=o
-the movie was great! =) but a little bit not to my expectation.=o the girls in the show was all very chiou...lol~ the storyline was quite touching. i prefer watching bu neng shuo de mimi than 881.881 is for older people to me i think.but compared the storyline still think that 881 one was nicer.because 881 the storyline was unexpected.the bu neng shuo de mimi is somehow somepart expected.
-i noticed one thing,for those that have watched (Alone) which is a thai ghost movie,and have watched bu neng shuo de mimi,you all will have noticed that the starting is the same.
jay acting was okok.but i think when jay was in the another previous movie was better even though i never see.cos he look cool in that.the main actress in bu neng shuo de mimi was much much better than jay.(no offend) =)

its me back again.!!!

2007-08-27T21:09:00.000-07:00

its me again...i am back to blog my feelings and happenings again...after one months and a few days of no blog days...erm...what to start off with?.... am having holiday now!!3 weeks....in a happy mood!=) because can have my own free and stressless time.....and to make life to the fullest and add more colour to it before school start again...which is 17 july,mon.
other poly have longer holiday..but this is my fate and life.accept it not.
holiday to me is working and spending money. money on eating,clothing,entertainment.talking about entertainment,xm and i had been spending quite a sum of money on arcarde the past few weeks(because i pon school) =) which had been like known by the workers of the arcarde regular customers.lol...
xm and i had been going to the gym quite often recently to keep ourself fit( actually is to slim down you see) lol~
because we want to look better,nicer and more attractive....hope it works.=)
erm...going to end here...will update again!=)

????

2007-07-25T02:31:00.000-07:00

i had been skipping school quite often.i just hope that i wnt fail.semester 2 i must work hard.in term of making friends and the work.
i must score higher than i have.cos i had been scoring low.
hope that semester 2 can help me find myself back and gain me confidence.
i am really losing myself since i stepped into rp.
i had not been myself lately.
as long as it wnt affect and the school can pon i pon.
even if it exceed the amount of times for pon.i still carry on.i goes according to feelings.
am i right or wrong.i had no feelings towards working hard anymore.

look? character?

2007-07-23T06:51:00.000-07:00

can i be pretty?can i be different from others?
can i? can i? lol!!!
is look more important than character?
some people said yes.
some people said no.
so which people you are?
i feel that look plays a part in how people look at you more than the character.
if you look like ME......
erm,then i think....
okok,look at the negative side.
erm,if your look is just normal normal,then people will not make an effort to approach you unless you are extra noisy and stand out from others.but if you are not,then i think it is hard to make more people want to know you you see.
if people wnt approach you then you have to approach people le.
but it is impossible to approach all people you see.
so it is hard to let people know your character.so how can it make more people know you when you dnt have the look.

but when you have the look it is different le.no matter how your character is .people will approach you because you are pretty and attractive to them.so they will approach you first then they will know your character.by at least you have the feelings of having many many friends you see.and look can cover character i believe.

my defination of pretty...lol!!! is big eyes,( i am not).tall,( i am not),face not big,(i am not), thin but acceptable,(i am not). is not that i want to be negative.i am just stating the facts isnt it.=)
sometimes when things are this way,we also cannot think the way (postive thoughts) we want to think.so we can only appreciate and admire other pretty.

i want to announce a secret in me for long to some.lol~
normally i looks at pretty girls rather than handsome guys.
i like to be friends with pretty girls.as in more interested in.dnt know why.
but one thing for sure which i want to clarify,i am not les.lol!!!
i dnt really believe in handsome guys.i prefer talented and attractive in the way they are talented and character that attract me.but the look also must be acceptable.
because i am not outstanding in my look so my expectations in the guys also cannot be so high you see.
also,if no love i also ok with it.i still can lead life the way i want.and be happy.really. =)
which i had been doing so all these years.

what kind of character am i to you?

2007-07-23T06:45:00.001-07:00

i am becoming into a person who i also dnt know who am i.
how to be with the people around me.
how can i enjoy life.
how to mix around like what others does.
am i childish?(which i dnt think so)
had been years in this kind of character.but now then i found out that i am childish to people.
in the ways i talk and express things.
but i still cannot figure out how to be more mature?=)
let times prove everything then.
have been skipping for one weeks due to the encouragement from joey.=)
had never believe in skipping will help in my growth.but because of her encouragement some sort of enlighten me.maybe her words carry much impact.lol!
many people had said that the chances are low or none.but i just try so long as there is a slim hope of growing tall i will be =)
some people said some people are born to be short no matter what method used.
i hope i am not the ones.
believing makes me feel more =)

dishearten and disappointed by the life in rp-the loner....

2007-07-19T06:00:00.000-07:00

blog ar blog,can you hear me?can you grant me one friend?one friend that i can rely on?
one friend who i will enjoy being with her.one friend who will chat with me.one friend who will take me as friend and not classmates.one friend who will bother me.one friend who play with me.one friend who will know me more than any.

blog ar blog,does the problem lies on me that i have no friends in rp.only classmates.why i dnt seems to feel the joy that everyone is having.why am i only one who dnt seems to join in their joy.had i not make enough effort? i had already make the effort in talking and joining them.but why i just cannot feel that i am with them as a group?why will i still feel lonely when with them?
why am i still feel that i am me when i am with them?
why i cannot laugh like nobody business when i am with them? (which i normally will.)
i dnt know why? i know i am quiet.but i can also be fun.who had ever try to know me.i had try to join in.but why i never had feel that i am being one of them?

i dnt blame anyone.i just dnt know why. since the day i in rp,i tot and my friends also tot that i will have a lot of friends with my character.but who knows.it does not.so dnt ever have much hope in friends in rp.

dishearten and disappointed by life in rp..........
the loner........