dishearten and disappointed by the life in rp-the loner....

blog ar blog,can you hear me?can you grant me one friend?one friend that i can rely on?
one friend who i will enjoy being with her.one friend who will chat with me.one friend who will take me as friend and not classmates.one friend who will bother me.one friend who play with me.one friend who will know me more than any.

blog ar blog,does the problem lies on me that i have no friends in rp.only classmates.why i dnt seems to feel the joy that everyone is having.why am i only one who dnt seems to join in their joy.had i not make enough effort? i had already make the effort in talking and joining them.but why i just cannot feel that i am with them as a group?why will i still feel lonely when with them?
why am i still feel that i am me when i am with them?
why i cannot laugh like nobody business when i am with them? (which i normally will.)
i dnt know why? i know i am quiet.but i can also be fun.who had ever try to know me.i had try to join in.but why i never had feel that i am being one of them?

i dnt blame anyone.i just dnt know why. since the day i in rp,i tot and my friends also tot that i will have a lot of friends with my character.but who knows.it does not.so dnt ever have much hope in friends in rp.

dishearten and disappointed by life in rp..........
the loner........