????

i had been skipping school quite often.i just hope that i wnt fail.semester 2 i must work hard.in term of making friends and the work.
i must score higher than i have.cos i had been scoring low.
hope that semester 2 can help me find myself back and gain me confidence.
i am really losing myself since i stepped into rp.
i had not been myself lately.
as long as it wnt affect and the school can pon i pon.
even if it exceed the amount of times for pon.i still carry on.i goes according to feelings.
am i right or wrong.i had no feelings towards working hard anymore.

look? character?

can i be pretty?can i be different from others?
can i? can i? lol!!!
is look more important than character?
some people said yes.
some people said no.
so which people you are?
i feel that look plays a part in how people look at you more than the character.
if you look like ME......
erm,then i think....
okok,look at the negative side.
erm,if your look is just normal normal,then people will not make an effort to approach you unless you are extra noisy and stand out from others.but if you are not,then i think it is hard to make more people want to know you you see.
if people wnt approach you then you have to approach people le.
but it is impossible to approach all people you see.
so it is hard to let people know your character.so how can it make more people know you when you dnt have the look.

but when you have the look it is different le.no matter how your character is .people will approach you because you are pretty and attractive to them.so they will approach you first then they will know your character.by at least you have the feelings of having many many friends you see.and look can cover character i believe.

my defination of pretty...lol!!! is big eyes,( i am not).tall,( i am not),face not big,(i am not), thin but acceptable,(i am not). is not that i want to be negative.i am just stating the facts isnt it.=)
sometimes when things are this way,we also cannot think the way (postive thoughts) we want to think.so we can only appreciate and admire other pretty.

i want to announce a secret in me for long to some.lol~
normally i looks at pretty girls rather than handsome guys.
i like to be friends with pretty girls.as in more interested in.dnt know why.
but one thing for sure which i want to clarify,i am not les.lol!!!
i dnt really believe in handsome guys.i prefer talented and attractive in the way they are talented and character that attract me.but the look also must be acceptable.
because i am not outstanding in my look so my expectations in the guys also cannot be so high you see.
also,if no love i also ok with it.i still can lead life the way i want.and be happy.really. =)
which i had been doing so all these years.

what kind of character am i to you?

i am becoming into a person who i also dnt know who am i.
how to be with the people around me.
how can i enjoy life.
how to mix around like what others does.
am i childish?(which i dnt think so)
had been years in this kind of character.but now then i found out that i am childish to people.
in the ways i talk and express things.
but i still cannot figure out how to be more mature?=)
let times prove everything then.
have been skipping for one weeks due to the encouragement from joey.=)
had never believe in skipping will help in my growth.but because of her encouragement some sort of enlighten me.maybe her words carry much impact.lol!
many people had said that the chances are low or none.but i just try so long as there is a slim hope of growing tall i will be =)
some people said some people are born to be short no matter what method used.
i hope i am not the ones.
believing makes me feel more =)

dishearten and disappointed by the life in rp-the loner....

blog ar blog,can you hear me?can you grant me one friend?one friend that i can rely on?
one friend who i will enjoy being with her.one friend who will chat with me.one friend who will take me as friend and not classmates.one friend who will bother me.one friend who play with me.one friend who will know me more than any.

blog ar blog,does the problem lies on me that i have no friends in rp.only classmates.why i dnt seems to feel the joy that everyone is having.why am i only one who dnt seems to join in their joy.had i not make enough effort? i had already make the effort in talking and joining them.but why i just cannot feel that i am with them as a group?why will i still feel lonely when with them?
why am i still feel that i am me when i am with them?
why i cannot laugh like nobody business when i am with them? (which i normally will.)
i dnt know why? i know i am quiet.but i can also be fun.who had ever try to know me.i had try to join in.but why i never had feel that i am being one of them?

i dnt blame anyone.i just dnt know why. since the day i in rp,i tot and my friends also tot that i will have a lot of friends with my character.but who knows.it does not.so dnt ever have much hope in friends in rp.

dishearten and disappointed by life in rp..........
the loner........